BLAH!

i've been away because we have been sick non stop. its getting a bit annoying. everytime someone gets better we get something else. anyway, i stopped the lyrica. we just couldn't afford it with everything else im taking. i would have stopped it anyway cause i gained ten pounds. as sedentary as i am i can't afford to gain any weight.

i went to my golden rheumy appointment. he was alright. i sound so rehearsed now when i tell them whats going on. he felt me everywhere and determined i hurt everywhere. he said i definitely have fibromyalgia and chronic pain. damn. i don't want to have fibro. if you tell someone you have that they roll their eyes and assume you are over emotional and causing it just by your inability to control yourself. ugh. so im not telling my mum i have it. i already know what she thinks about it anyway. i had more blood work done cause my ana labs were missing and no one has checked my thyroid or maybe those results were missing too. i told him my ana came back fine but he wanted to run it anyway. he didn't say what the rash is and i was hoping he would. he put me on lyricas mom, neurontin, and muscle relaxers so i will sleep. lol whats that? funny thing is since last weekend i have done nothing but sleep and still am exhausted. the muscle relaxers do help me go to sleep but i wake up like i did before. i have also had a headache for a week now. not sure what that is all about but my regular doc was nice enough to prescribe me migraine meds. a god thing, i guess, is that my date witht he rheumy went so well he wants to see me again. i'll have to write down a couple questions for him on my next visit. all in all im pretty depressed about the whole thing. i don't know what i was expecting. something different from what i've heard? i don't know. when i got back from the rheumy i went to sleep and when i woke up i felt awful. my husband says im worse having gone. lol not really it's just that im having another flare up and with being sick i'm just plain zombified. i don't know if i had mentioned before that i stopped the ultram and am taking talwin for pain now. works better and during a flare provides a little relief unlike the ultram. so thats the big update. maybe ill keep up better with this blog. it has potential to at least give me a place to vent.

your neighborhood pill head

Me Who...

i had big plans for this blog. anything i have big plans for is destined to fail. this isn't exactly a "fail" though. my daughter either has really bad tourettes or something else so i've been too busy to talk about me. it happened quite suddenly; we ate dinner, then her shoulder and head began to jerk. i have spent the last, almost, three weeks trying to keep us from being assaulted by her. she has it bad. no vocal tic as of yet just bad physical tics. within just a few days of it starting, her whole body jerks almost constantly unless she is asleep. the worst of it is the hitting, kicking, and throwing. she hits us, she hits things, she kicks us, she kicks things, and it seems that just about everything she touches she throws. i have had to start feeding her so that she does not throw her food. that was going well till she started spitting out every bite i put in her mouth. by now you are probably wondering where the doctor is and why isn't she on medicine. funny how we jump to conclusions that way. always assuming the child is not getting the care they need. well she has been trying tenex. she started it a couple days ago. she sleeps ALOT and when she is awake she is the same as above only with a dumb tired look on her face. i do not know her anymore. she is miserable. i am miserable. i think everyone is feeling something similar. i long to hear her laugh cause i don't think she has in awhile.

your neighborhood pill head

about five minutes after i wrote this my daughter woke up from another nap and talked to me for about a half hour. she only hit me 7 times and if i didn't look at her eyes it was alot like the girl i used to know

The Lyica Try

so i am trying lyrica. this is a weird drug. it makes me really happy, dizzy, and gives me what i call shakey vision. i am taking 225 mg(i think they are mg's) a day. it was 150 but after some reading i added another pill. i have had some swelling from lyrica also but so far not too bad. i would say to others to try it. i never read side effects to something "normal" but on things like lyrica and lupron i do. not all of them, just part to get an idea and feel for the drug. i- am on week two of it. i don't know if it helps with my pain. i would probably say it doesn't as the last couple of days i have woken up with swollen, stiff, sore fingers. plus my knees have been giving me hell. i finally bought a cane to help me out. boy that was painful. i am not even 35 and i have a cane. the old ladies in wal-mart move faster than me right now. i am just coming off a flare up. my rash is starting itch and is showing itself more so it seems i will be in another flare up soon. i use my rash as an indicator. it does seem that when i get to itching bad that shortly after i hurt really bad. so lyrica, i am giving it time. hopefully it doesn't kill me too quickly cause i need to learn to knit a sweater before i die.

pill head